The Mortuary Assistant

As a Proctologist you will poop yourself, jk. Since I was a kid I have experienced A LOT of paranormal activities even now being 37yrs old I’m desensitized to these things. The game has a great creepy atmosphere to it and even gave me good chills a few times. I hope they make another one or maybe a game where you play as a cemetery caretaker.

I would like to preface this review by saying that, deep down, at its core, this is actually a surprisingly cozy little game. Embalming fluid preparation. Careful documentation. The gentle, methodical rhythm of prepping a body for burial. Genuinely relaxing stuff. Very soothing. Very ASMR. If only the demons would let me enjoy it. Every single time I settled into the quiet, meditative groove of my job, some horrifying entity would show up at the edge of the room politely but firmly requesting that I abandon the autopsy table immediately, please, right now, thank you, and honestly the sheer audacity of asking me to leave a task half finished is possibly the scariest part of this entire experience. I have never had my professional work ethic personally attacked by a demon before. Deeply rude. If I have one complaint, it's that some of the jump scares lean a little heavy handed compared to the quieter, creepier moments, which honestly do more heavy lifting on their own.

<--- The Mortuary Assistant ---> ---{Graphics}--- ☐ You forget what reality is ☐ Beautiful ☐ Good ☑ Decent ☐ Bad ☐ Don‘t look too long at it ☐ Paint.exe ---{Gameplay}--- ☑ Very good ☐ Good ☐ It‘s just gameplay ☐ Mehh ☐ Starring at walls is better ☐ Just don‘t ---{Audio}--- ☐ Eargasm ☑ Very good ☐ Good ☐ Not too bad ☐ Bad ☐ Earrape ---{Audience}--- ☐ Kids ☐ Teens ☑ Adults ☐ Human ☐ Lizards ---{PC Requirements}--- ☐ Check if you can run paint ☑ Potato ☐ Decent ☐ Fast ☐ Rich boiiiiii ☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer ---{Difficulity}--- ☐ Just press A ☐ Easy ☑ Significant brain usage ☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master ☐ Difficult ☐ Dark Souls ---{Grind}--- ☐ Nothing to grind ☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks ☑ Isnt necessary to progress ☐ Average grind level ☐ Too much grind ☐ You‘ll need a second live for grinding ---{Story}--- ☐ Story? ☐ Text or Audio floating around ☐ Average ☐ Good ☑ Lovely ☐ It‘ll replace your life ---{Game Time}--- ☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee ☐ Short ☑ Average ☐ Good ☐ Long ☐ To infinity and beyond ---{Price}--- ☐ It’s free! ☑ Worth the price ☐ If u have some spare money left ☐ Not recommended ☐ You could also just burn your money ---{Bugs}--- ☐ Never heard of ☑ Minor bugs ☐ Can get annoying ☐ ARK: Survival Evolved ☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs